GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS Andy Hollifield 11-16-19
Alright folks, someone better hurry! We cannot possibly have all of this impeachment stuff going on past Thanksgiving. I think that might would be illegal. That would put us in the one month out of the year that we are supposed to have peace on earth and goodwill toward men. To quote a very famous American actor who everyone knows and loves; “Good grief!” These words repeatedly spoken by Charlie Brown sum up things pretty good don’t they? Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t we put Charlie Brown on the ballot for maybe, I don’t know, Speaker of the House? He’s a cartoon character I know but at least he can make us laugh without doing any harm or costing us anything. We probably can’t do that though because Congressman Jerry Nadler of New York probably wouldn’t allow it. Since Adam Schiff of California has taken Jerry’s place in front of the cameras, trying to get Charlie Brown on the ballot would probably be grounds for more Congressional hearings.
Do you want to hear something really funny? Today is “International Day For Tolerance.” I did not know that. While writing this I stumbled across a website called “wincalendar.com.” All of this information is from that site. It struck me as curious that today is “International Day For Tolerance” but tomorrow is “National Unfriend Day.” Just hang on because the moron friend you have to tolerate today can be unfriended tomorrow. I know that is a load off of your mind. Maybe if they get time, our House and Senate might could find the time to hold hearings and actually take a vote and make all of these days official. They might have to put that off until Tuesday the 19th because that is “World Toilet Day.” I kid you not; the world actually has a day on which we celebrate toilets! What a mess! Oops, poor choice of words. Of course, if you have ever visited an outhouse, I can kind of understand why you would create a stink about celebrating toilets. Sorry, I did it again. I just can’t help myself. It’s too easy.
Maybe by Thursday the 21st we can make sense of it all. That will be the day to do it since it is “World Philosophy Day.” Just to help me understand, I looked up the definition of “Philosophy.” You’ve gotta hear this: the study of general and fundamental questions about existence, knowledge, values, reason, mind, and language. Such questions are often posed as problems to be resolved. Huh? Since when did my existence become a problem for me that needed to be studied or resolved. I do agree with the part about studying a language. We have a lot of people in this country that need to study “English” since that is officially our national language. Can I get a witness?
I have to stop with the philosophy before I fry my last working brain cell. If it isn’t fried from the philosophy already, I can do that on Thursday the 21st which is “World Television Day.” “Good grief!” There are several other days but they have legitimate causes so I am not going to make fun of them. But then, we come to Monday, December 9th which is “Anti-Corruption Day.” We don’t celebrate that in this country, or maybe we do. We just do it all year and create as much of it as we can. It’s good to know our country is doing its part to make that day necessary.
Finally on the 9th is the day that will make politicians the world over just plumb giddy. It is “Green Monday.” Maybe that would be a good day for us all to go and get an “Impossible Whopper” from Burger King. I would imagine the veggies in it are organically grown (not knocking that) using green methods. Why is it that some people want to make veggies taste like beef? Cows have been doing it forever. But, no one is trying to make beef taste like veggies? Just remember this: “Beef, it’s what’s for dinner!”
Wednesday the 18th is “Arabic Language Day.” Hey, I have an idea. If we don’t already have one, why don’t we have an “English Language Day” in this country to celebrate our national language? I seem to have missed the days for “Southern English Day” and “Cajun Language Day.” Both of those are languages that are often imitated but never duplicated “Y’all.”
The 18th is also “International Migrants Day.” Maybe we could get a day and call it, “American Born and Naturalized Citizens Day.” Maybe we could share the 10th of December with “Human Rights Day” which follows “Green Monday.” No, that would never work because our government is trying to take away our rights.
Well, like they used to say on “Hee Haw” “I’m through playin’ now.” I just couldn’t help myself. Ain’t this been fun? Don’t forget; if you don’t like this article, it is still “International Day For Tolerance” but don’t worry, you can unfriend me tomorrow! Have a great day…or is there a different day for that already? Oh well, have whatever kind of day you want to!